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The Sanctity of Marriage

Marriage is a sacred vow made before God in the presence of others, declaring that this union is formed in love and that it is of ultimate importance. It declares the commitment being made and announces to the world that violations made upon this union is an infringement upon something holy to you. The act of marriage solidifies the union; fuses two lives together. Marriage is an outer declaration of something spiritual happening within. A marriage is a very spiritual thing, for it is the joining of two hearts in love. There is nothing more holy than love. God is Love.

So, what is love in a marriage? It is commitment. It is commitment throughout all of life. It is a promise to be there for each other, regardless of so many things. It means being there during sad times, angry times, awful, ugly, hideous times and painful times. It means being there no matter what circumstances may come along. Being there to decide whether or not to have children, adopt children or not have children at all, and then carrying out that decision together. Sometimes it means holding each other when the decision is outside our control. It means making career decisions, housing decisions and financial decisions together. It means making healthcare and end of life decisions together. It may even mean holding the other and watching them die. Then it means missing each other and feeling like half of you has been taken away, and knowing in fact you have lost part of your soul.

Vowing to love someone forever in all scenarios and situations means vowing to practice unconditional love. It means believing in the goodness of each other. Believing in each other’s strengths, offering encouragement and supporting their dreams. Unconditional love also means loving their families, or at the very least, trying. It means going places you don’t want to go and doing things you don’t want to do all because it’s in the best interest of your spouse.

Divorce? Take it off of the table if you want your marriage to work. True commitment means no loopholes. Marry the right one to begin with and this won’t be a problem. Of course, sometimes there are problems we’re unable to bear. Sometimes there is abuse or neglect or cheating involved. Sometimes we have to let go and be true to ourselves, but this is not what marriage should be. Marriage takes TWO people giving their ALL. You can carry the other person only as far as it seriously begins hurting yourself or your children, to whom you also owe unconditional love. But barring physical or true psychological harm, there is no reason to leave when commitments have been made to each other to make it work. With love, prayer, hard work, communication, faithfulness and honesty there is no problem on earth too big for a solution to be crafted together.

We perform wedding ceremonies through Essentials of Life Holistic Enrichment Center. We don’t care if your black, white, yellow, red, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, Pagan, Jew, or no religion at all. So long as there is love, commitment and an honest desire, we’re happy to legally join you together in wedded bliss. We even do weddings in jails!

But be sure you are ready. It really is a big commitment to make. Be sure you not only love each other, but that you like each other, as well. There needs to be respect, admiration, common outlooks on life and common goals.

There is nowhere more important to apply the Golden Rule than in marriage. Do unto each other as you wish for the other to do unto you. Focus on giving rather than receiving, and it will come back tenfold to you. Give love. Give commitment. Give loyalty. Give patience, kindness, generosity, consideration, appreciation, faithfulness, attentiveness, give your whole self. Give truth. Give forgiveness. Give trust.

We also must give these things to ourselves, for if we do not, we won’t be able to give them to somebody else, because we will not know how. So, love yourself. Be committed to your own well-being. Be loyal to your values in life. Be patient with yourself. Be kind in how you think and talk about yourself and in how you treat yourself. Be generous to yourself, believing that you deserve. Consider your own feelings in matters, appreciate the efforts you make and don’t diminish them in your own mind, be faithful to your beliefs, attentive to your internal signals and outer signs that life gives to you, give your whole self to being the best you that you can be, and don’t lie to yourself. We all know deep down what is true. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes, just learn to trust the quiet small voice of wisdom within.

Continue practicing this for the rest of your life, and life will take on more and more wonderful new meaning each day! And when entering into a marriage, to the degree that each person can give in this way to the other, the more happy and successful the marriage will be. Always remember how much you love each other. Be committed to your mate’s well-being. Be loyal, always, to them, and be patient. They are the person you chose and they’re growing, too. Love is, after all, patient and kind. Be generous with your time, your resources and with honest praise. Consider their feelings and what perhaps they may be going through. Show appreciation in big ways and little ways. Don’t just assume that they know. Be faithful to these vows, be faithful in love, be faithful in believing in the good of this marriage and don’t ever give up. Strive to know each other better each day and find more things to love. Love has to be nurtured and kept ever new lest we take each other for granted. Do your best and trust that the other is also. Forgive, now, everything past, and also forgive what the other may do in the future, for sooner or later someone will forget not to flush when the other is in the shower or something else. Just forgive it all now and keep forgiving clear up to the end, and then forgive them for dying first. Nothing is worth holding a grudge with the person you love! Trust that they love you, too. Trust is established with the saying of vows. Do you believe each other means it? That’s the basis of everything else.

Of course none of us are perfect in practicing these principles, but we must keep vigilance on our efforts to spiritually grow, for these are all spiritual principles. It is vital to support each other in spirit, mind and body, with spirit leading the way. This puts in place the foundation for everything else. To support each other spiritually means always believing in the goodness in them and helping them to believe in it, too. To support each other spiritually means helping each other become who they were created to be. It means honoring the little child in each other, as well as honoring the adult. Supporting each other spiritually means providing space for prayer, meditation, and the sharing of spiritual thoughts with each other, being willing to really open up and look deep inside of ourselves and each other, without any judgement, just love.

It is also important in marriage, as it is as individuals, to keep a positive mental attitude and bring positive energy into the marriage. Spiritual ideals are the foundation, but if they leave our mind the first time temptation occurs, then they aren’t very much good. Our thoughts are our prayers. Vow to watch your thoughts about life in order to not fall into a negative outlook. Your partner is counting on you! It is your job to cheer each other up, always, but not until hearing…really hearing…their pain and fear. This isn’t something you can fake. You must listen as if your hearts were connected, because henceforth from the moment of marriage, they are! But it is your responsibility to help pull the other out of depression by reminding them of their strengths, your strengths as a couple, and of the strength of their concept of God. Taking care to discipline the mind is the link between the spiritual and physical world. Keep up good daily practices with this, for negative thinking is sneaky in the way it creeps up. Look at the good things in life, and in your marriage! Focus on these things. Find things to do together that keep your mind stimulated, constantly getting to know each other better and enjoying life more!

And finally, it is also important in marriage, as it is as individuals, to support each other in striving to maintain optimal physical health. Many people forget this for themselves and their partners, or perhaps don’t know what to do, but it is important to share a healthy lifestyle together. Be there for each other in sickness, yes, but be there for each other in HEALTH! Do whatever it takes to live long and healthy as a loving, happy couple together. Don’t nag. Just make a plan for healthy living and promise to support each other in following through. The physical aspect of marriage deserves to be nurtured, for we share physical love in many ways, all the way to taking care of each other when sickness comes calling. Eventually the physical body of one or the other will slip away, and this will most likely be the saddest day ever, so live it up fully until that time, and do all you can now to ensure it will be less painful then. This is part of the commitment of marriage. Spirit, Mind, Body…all three.

It sounds like a lot, and it is, but it can be summed up in these simple vows that we have used in weddings before:

I, __________, take you, ________, to be my lawfully wedded _________. I promise to nurture and honor our marriage until my last breath, and to join together with you in an adventure of growing together; growing as individuals, growing old with each other and forever growing more deeply in love. I promise to stay by your side and be the best partner I can, always believing in the goodness of you. I promise to love you until the end of all time. We are one. I will never give up on our love.

For those who aren’t married, these principles work well in friendships, too! The Golden Rule is Golden! And friendship is sacred, too. God bless, and feel the love!

Vibraceously Yours,
“Vibraceous, ND”

Rev. Dr. Jody Evans, ND, CTN, CNHP, D.D.
www.essentials-of-life.org

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